:hello37 :welcome3 Hi and welcome to our little community or, as one of our more verbally clever members put it, welcome to the club that nobody wants to be a member of. :kissbear

You asked on another thread what "The Three Baskets" were. This is a concept on discipline that the book The Explosive Child explains and is the core concept developed in that book.

The author, who has been on a number of TV shows including, I believe, Oprah, takes the position that normal discipline techniques don't work for kids who have trouble controlling their emotional responses.

He stresses that authoritarian methods and attempts to control and dominate just create more upsets and stress in the households. Most of us here can attest to that.

Dr. Greene, the author, recommends putting problem behaviors into one of three baskets. The first basket is where you come down with power and authority and insist on compliance, even though you know you are going to have a meltdown. He says you have to feel it is worth the resulting meltdown to use Basket One. He recommends it only be used for safety issues.

"Basket Two" is trying to find a negotiated solution to the problem causing behavior, using some give and take to get cooperation from the child, getting them to buy into the solution. This takes practice and patience but is the skill he recommends parents learn to use and is the real workhorse of the three baskets. He gives lots of examples in his book on how it works.

"Basket Three" is for behaviors that you can just let go and not bother about. He recommends asking yourself if this will matter a month from now, a year from now, or fifty years from now. He feels there are many "little things" we can let go of just to reduce the stress and turmoil in the family and gives many examples in his book as well.

Hope this helps and again, :welcomeconfetti
JoAnn, mom to Hilary 19, Bipolar and Diabetic, currently on Lamictal, Seroquel, Lithium, Clonopin, and Insulin