Hi and welcome!
I know just what you are saying about "the eyes". I hate when my son gets those. Also, I too will sometimes cringe when I hear my son is getting pissed. I think it's because we are so shellshocked. It's like post traumatic Stress disorder. We are just can't take it anymore and even something small will bring our stress level to the high point because it's always boiling under the surface. Even after there has been some calm time it doesn't take much for the stress level to raise.
These kids are so much harder than "normal" kids. And it's true that we have to mourn the child we thought we had. That takes time. I am still trying to accept that Anthony will always have this disorder and it will always be a struggle for him.
It's very hard to remember during the heat of the moment that it's the illness that is really talking. That if they were in their "right" mind, they wouldn't be screaming and cussing and yelling and hitting and breaking things.
I am glad you are here. This place is a Godsend and I am so thankful to Michele for creating this veryspecial place.
Hugs,
Jackie,
Mom to Anthony 12, adhd and bp. currently taking lithium and seroquel and Jodie Lynn, age 10