Heather, this time it was my turn to get tears in my eyes. So much of what you shared, I have felt. I have truly felt that I needed to go through the grieving process with my DH. After my father died my mom once remarked that I was like a widow as well - my DH that we all knew was gone - but in our case it's like having that process repeated over and over as they can sometimes "reappear" so the grieving process is incomplete.

I've often felt the same way too - envious of people in "normal" relationships dealing with people without a mental illness. And I have come to the exact same conclusion as you, my DH and I were brought together for a reason and even his mother has ackmowledged that I have done for him ( whether we were divorced or not divorced ) more than anyone she knows would ever have done. People don't understand mental illnesses and I think God gives some people an extra big dose of patience and caring, etc knowing what is ahead of them.

Please - vent here anytime - I hope I didn't sound like I was discouraging that at all - that is what this board is all about - a safe place to let it all out. I think because we all look for solutions that work for each of us - we like to share that - but by all means, vent away - LOL!!

I'm really glad you found the board and that we're getting a chance to talk. Have a good weekend, Heather! :hug88 s!