since the increase in Buspar hasn't done anything, we are going try Intuniv, an new med similar to Tenex, but is time released so it works throughout the
day. The scary thing is he can't be on the clonidine and the Intuniv at the same time because his blood pressure will be way high. So we need to slowly
taper him off of the Clonidine and when he gets to just his pm dose we can start the Intuniv. I am so scared what may happen. I could take hyperness, but the
impulsiveness without it worries me since he is impulsive already.
So today he will skip his noon clonidine. Then next week he'll skip his noon and 4:00 dose, next week, morning, noon, and four. Then he can start the Intuniv while he is still weaning off pm dose. Scary as hell. but we are ready right now to send him somewhere for good. I know later I would be whining that I miss him, but we can't even discipline him most of the time and I hate that feeling. He won't go to his room . I send Zac to his room if he's picking on Luke or name calling or mouthing off to me or his dad and he's wondering why Luke doesn't have to go to his room. I don't say anything. He may start refusing also.
I have been so unhappy lately. I could take all the happy pills in the world and still not be happy. How can a person be happy when she has to just let her son get away with way too much because I can't get him to go to his room and I want to just take him a drag him there, but I can't. He gives us the finger, puts his fist up at us, and it is not fair at all that we can't do anything to them or it will be considered abusive. grounding him from things doesn't work anymore either. The day we had to pick him up at school, he didn't get video games or computer. He kept asking, but he didn't get to, and I worked that evening so I didn't have to hear him say he's bored over and over again for too long and dh took him shopping with him. I guess he behaved there. But usually the computer grounding does no good because he'll just go do it anyway.
He gets worse when he's bored or hungry. We are not able to take him somewhere everyday or play games with him all day. Zac rarely will play with him and he wants me to also play or he won't. Whenever he disobeys me which is 90% of the time, I feel so low and helpless. then dh has been grumpy lately and I can't even stand him anymore.
For months now, whenever I want to talk to him (dh), he starts yelling at me. I was crying about that first skills worker not being able to help and talked about how his case manager hasn't really done much for Luke and he starts trying to make excuses for them and the way he talked, it sounded like I was the one doing something wrong.I was upset that she said the 50 % behaving in front of Luke and he said I should have talked to her ahead of time and ask her not to. I kept saying, "how am I suppose to tell her when I don't know she's even going to ask me that." Well he kept saying, I should be yelling half of the time that same thing over and over at least 10 times and I kept saying the same thing back to him. He wasn't even listening at all if he kept saying it. Then he didn't care that I was crying, he just kept saying it and we ended up in a huge fight and I just got more and more upset that he didn't seem to give a rats ars that I was crying so hard. and it's not the first time I've cried and he could care less.
He said later that he doesn't think I should be crying about it, so it just pisses him off.
If I were to meet him now days, I would not like him at all. He goes from being so sweet for a month or two to doing this crap. Oh and letting the kids get away with crap, like if I work and I come home from work and the house is a disaster area, he'll say he asked the boys to help clean but they wouldn't. I've told him before to make them. I can even get them to do that. Luke may refuse for awhile, but if he wants to do something, he has to help do a chore first. They have scheduled chores and he never makes him do them. He doesn't pay attention to the time and make sure Zac goes to bed when he's suppose to. then yesterday he said in front of Zac that it's my job to clean the kitchen. I think he was kidding because I had told him earlier the taking the recycling downtown was his job because he doesn't do much else. Zac already always says it's my job to clean, and when dh said that, Zac says, "ha".
I could go on and on. I am sure I have already, so thanks for letting me vent, especially since I can't vent to my dh, which really hurts. Oh and dh is taking his Wellbutrin and he says he's not depressed. Last night he wanted to go uptown to the bar, dressed up for Halloween, which he already was.he wanted us both to go and leave the kids here by themselves since they would be sleeping and some back and check on them sometimes..I didn't want to just in case. Then he says, yelling of course, that he only has one life and we should be able to go have some fun, that we should be able to leave the kids alone at this age and he was going no matter what. I reminded him that yes we SHOULD be able to, but we can't. See, Sarah's not here anymore to watch them, and that I only have one life too, but I'm not taking the chance of going somewhere just in case. I wanted to go out too, but he was being a jerk and I wasn't leaving them here alone. He wouldn't even ask his dad who lives 3 doors down to come and watch them.
Okay there I go again. Sorry.
So today he will skip his noon clonidine. Then next week he'll skip his noon and 4:00 dose, next week, morning, noon, and four. Then he can start the Intuniv while he is still weaning off pm dose. Scary as hell. but we are ready right now to send him somewhere for good. I know later I would be whining that I miss him, but we can't even discipline him most of the time and I hate that feeling. He won't go to his room . I send Zac to his room if he's picking on Luke or name calling or mouthing off to me or his dad and he's wondering why Luke doesn't have to go to his room. I don't say anything. He may start refusing also.
I have been so unhappy lately. I could take all the happy pills in the world and still not be happy. How can a person be happy when she has to just let her son get away with way too much because I can't get him to go to his room and I want to just take him a drag him there, but I can't. He gives us the finger, puts his fist up at us, and it is not fair at all that we can't do anything to them or it will be considered abusive. grounding him from things doesn't work anymore either. The day we had to pick him up at school, he didn't get video games or computer. He kept asking, but he didn't get to, and I worked that evening so I didn't have to hear him say he's bored over and over again for too long and dh took him shopping with him. I guess he behaved there. But usually the computer grounding does no good because he'll just go do it anyway.
He gets worse when he's bored or hungry. We are not able to take him somewhere everyday or play games with him all day. Zac rarely will play with him and he wants me to also play or he won't. Whenever he disobeys me which is 90% of the time, I feel so low and helpless. then dh has been grumpy lately and I can't even stand him anymore.
For months now, whenever I want to talk to him (dh), he starts yelling at me. I was crying about that first skills worker not being able to help and talked about how his case manager hasn't really done much for Luke and he starts trying to make excuses for them and the way he talked, it sounded like I was the one doing something wrong.I was upset that she said the 50 % behaving in front of Luke and he said I should have talked to her ahead of time and ask her not to. I kept saying, "how am I suppose to tell her when I don't know she's even going to ask me that." Well he kept saying, I should be yelling half of the time that same thing over and over at least 10 times and I kept saying the same thing back to him. He wasn't even listening at all if he kept saying it. Then he didn't care that I was crying, he just kept saying it and we ended up in a huge fight and I just got more and more upset that he didn't seem to give a rats ars that I was crying so hard. and it's not the first time I've cried and he could care less.
He said later that he doesn't think I should be crying about it, so it just pisses him off.
If I were to meet him now days, I would not like him at all. He goes from being so sweet for a month or two to doing this crap. Oh and letting the kids get away with crap, like if I work and I come home from work and the house is a disaster area, he'll say he asked the boys to help clean but they wouldn't. I've told him before to make them. I can even get them to do that. Luke may refuse for awhile, but if he wants to do something, he has to help do a chore first. They have scheduled chores and he never makes him do them. He doesn't pay attention to the time and make sure Zac goes to bed when he's suppose to. then yesterday he said in front of Zac that it's my job to clean the kitchen. I think he was kidding because I had told him earlier the taking the recycling downtown was his job because he doesn't do much else. Zac already always says it's my job to clean, and when dh said that, Zac says, "ha".
I could go on and on. I am sure I have already, so thanks for letting me vent, especially since I can't vent to my dh, which really hurts. Oh and dh is taking his Wellbutrin and he says he's not depressed. Last night he wanted to go uptown to the bar, dressed up for Halloween, which he already was.he wanted us both to go and leave the kids here by themselves since they would be sleeping and some back and check on them sometimes..I didn't want to just in case. Then he says, yelling of course, that he only has one life and we should be able to go have some fun, that we should be able to leave the kids alone at this age and he was going no matter what. I reminded him that yes we SHOULD be able to, but we can't. See, Sarah's not here anymore to watch them, and that I only have one life too, but I'm not taking the chance of going somewhere just in case. I wanted to go out too, but he was being a jerk and I wasn't leaving them here alone. He wouldn't even ask his dad who lives 3 doors down to come and watch them.
Okay there I go again. Sorry.
Chris
