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Tracy |
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Chris, a card is all i would give him.
Tracy
Mom of Travis-18 (still trying to figure out a dx.) was taking Depakote ER 500mg at bedtime was taking Seroquel 100mg at bedtime was taking Celexa 20mg/morning Completely off all meds at this time. |
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momofalexa |
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Do you normally go to dinner for his bday or have a party or something? Just curious what he might be expecting...
I hear you about the safety issues. I'm sure Matt wants you to chase him and beg him to come home...and then let him do whatever he pleases and treat you shabbily. But, like you said, you cannot allow that anymore. He's been violent too many times in the past, too, plus stolen from you. You can't trust him now..I agree. Sad to say though. Hugs...
Heather
Mom of Alexa, (17 years old) Diagnosed BP-NOS (09/05), updated to BP II w/psychotic features (05/08) Oppositional Defiant Disorder Abilify (10 mg), Lamictal (200 mg), Klonipin (.5 mg) as needed Topamax at night only (100 mg) Seroquel at night only (200mg) *when she is willing* Attends alternative therapeutic high school (Ohio) |
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jalmil |
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I'm sure Matt wants you to chase him and beg him to come home...and then let him do whatever he pleases and treat you shabbily. But, like you said, you cannot allow that anymore. He's been violent too many times in the past, too, plus stolen from you. You can't trust him now..I agree. Sad to say though. That is exactly what I was eluding to. His odd behavior of shunning you and then asking for attention. Could he be trying to gain back some control over
you, maybe??? Feels he has lost that. He "says" he doesn't want to be a part of your family but he "acts" like he wants you all to beg
him home, so the power is back in his court.
Lynn
Alex 16 - Dyslexic and STILL learning to drive Step Mom to :
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justlovehim |
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Normally, we would have a nice birthday dinner at home with his favorite meal choice and birthday cake and ice cream. It would be all of us.... me, dh,
dsolder, dd and dh and Noah. We live away from all our family. We would have small gifts like a couple shirts. His bro and sis would give him $20 each or
something. Simple but special!
His bday will be the week of church camp. I am the nurse again. If he doesn't go to the academy, which I don't expect, he will be at church camp. Honestly, I'm a bit afraid to be there with him around 24/7. The good thing is that A will be there as a counselor in the girls dorm. My dd and sil will be there too. My nurse's cabin stands alone and is just across the way from the boys cabin. My dd and Noah will stay in the cabin with me.... thank goodness! I'd seriously be afraid to stay there alone. So I don't know. My gut is the card only too, but I'm afraid that will spark him. DS-Matt,17 : DSolder- 24 : DD- 22 Depression, dx May 2008, ADHD- dx age 9 refuses meds Waiting to see if he will attend the "Mountaineer ChalleNGe Academy" "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" Philippians 4:4 |
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jalmil |
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I am afraid a card may spark him too ..... Hope camp turn out to be fun. At least you have dd and Noah there.
Lynn
Alex 16 - Dyslexic and STILL learning to drive Step Mom to :
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justlovehim |
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What do you mean? if I give him a card only?
DS-Matt,17 : DSolder- 24 : DD- 22 Depression, dx May 2008, ADHD- dx age 9 refuses meds and NOT LIVING AT HOME BY HIS CHOICE Waiting to see if he will attend the "Mountaineer ChalleNGe Academy" "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" Philippians 4:4 |
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jalmil |
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yes just agreeing with you quote:
So I don't know. My gut is the card only too, but I'm afraid that will spark him.Sorry I didn't mean to be confusing..... Lynn
Alex 16 - Dyslexic and STILL learning to drive Step Mom to :
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justlovehim |
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LOL Lynn! I can just see him pitching the card 'coz it will mean nothing to him anyway!!
DS-Matt,17 : DSolder- 24 : DD- 22 Depression, dx May 2008, ADHD- dx age 9 refuses meds and NOT LIVING AT HOME BY HIS CHOICE Waiting to see if he will attend the "Mountaineer ChalleNGe Academy" "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" Philippians 4:4 |
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jalmil |
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Jordon would be the same way!!!!
Lynn
Alex 16 - Dyslexic and STILL learning to drive Step Mom to :
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momofalexa |
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So if I am understanding that correctly, he will be snarked off if he only gets a card? Just curious. Well, that is your call about whatever you feel most
comfortable doing for your own sake and his.
I am very happy to hear you will not be alone with him in the woods. The fact that A. plus his sis and bil and others will be there is good. He scares me because he is so unpredictable! I know my dd, in the past, would also be this way--and that always scared me as well. I'm not saying your kid is some scary monster...mine is a scary monster off her meds, too, KWIM? I feel for you. Well I am just really hoping A. gets him in to see this doctor ASAP.
Heather
Mom of Alexa, (17 years old) Diagnosed BP-NOS (09/05), updated to BP II w/psychotic features (05/08) Oppositional Defiant Disorder Abilify (10 mg), Lamictal (200 mg), Klonipin (.5 mg) as needed Topamax at night only (100 mg) Seroquel at night only (200mg) *when she is willing* Attends alternative therapeutic high school (Ohio) |
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justlovehim |
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Yea, lol Heather, he's gonna be ticked either way 'coz I'm not getting him a BIG gift. You understood correctly. He is a scary monster to me
sometimes. He's like a timebomb. I'm really careful around him. I don't trust him. I keep the doors locked when I'm home alone 'coz I'm
afraid he'll come here.
DS-Matt,17 : DSolder- 24 : DD- 22 Depression, dx May 2008, ADHD- dx age 9 refuses meds and NOT LIVING AT HOME BY HIS CHOICE Waiting to see if he will attend the "Mountaineer ChalleNGe Academy" "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" Philippians 4:4 |
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tinymomthree |
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It is awful that you have to feel that way Chris after all you have done for him. I think I would stick with the couple shirts. You could have one of them say,
"I have been accepted into Mountaineer Challenge Academy" and have the other on say "I have the best mother in the whole wide world" What
do you think? I think he would love them! lol
Tina
dd age 18 bp no meds ds 16 and dd 15 Ld's |
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Rayni |
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I like the idea of the shirt that says "I have the best mother in the whole world." LOL For my DSO's birthday, I gave him a night shirt & a
bedtime story, Little Golden Book's, "Poky Little Puppy." He's 24. He'll get $50 from me when I can afford it.
Rayni, mom to Nick, 22, SSI, topamax, abilify, buspar, (Asperger's, bipolar, anxiety); prilosec
(reflux); zyrtec-D, nasal spray (allergies); metformin (insulin resistance)
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tinymomthree |
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LOL Rayni, Poky Little Puppy!,
Tina
dd age 18 bp no meds ds 16 and dd 15 Ld's |
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momofalexa |
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Tina, that is too funny! Great ideas, that would be great to see his reaction to those...except he might get really mad...but if he didn't...that would be
a stitch! I know you had your tongue in your cheek with that suggestion though.
Chris, how are things today?
Heather
Mom of Alexa, (17 years old) Diagnosed BP-NOS (09/05), updated to BP II w/psychotic features (05/08) Oppositional Defiant Disorder Abilify (10 mg), Lamictal (200 mg), Klonipin (.5 mg) as needed Topamax at night only (100 mg) Seroquel at night only (200mg) *when she is willing* Attends alternative therapeutic high school (Ohio) |
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jalmil |
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Tina you are a riot!!!! That was too funny. Too bad I don't think he would appreciate the humor.
I know about the being afraid. Spmetimes I dread Jordon being here. It is sad to have to feel that way. How are you doing today, Chris Lynn
Alex 16 - Dyslexic and STILL learning to drive Step Mom to :
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justlovehim |
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Well dh and I spent the long weekend away. DSolder talked dh into taking me to Amish Country in Sugarcreek, Ohio on Thurs eve. We spent the night and next day
in Berlin, Sugarcreek, and Winesburg. We bought a new table and chairs.... love it!!! To be made to specs and delivered sometime in Sept. Then we drove to my
sister's Fri eve and stayed till this am. Picnic, games, and family and friends. Had a great time. DSolder kept our dogs. No worries.
You know Matt only talks to dd. She hadn't heard from him since he was mad at her earlier this week. She texted him Fri and he was in another town, but still with A. I called A today, but she was with Matt and will call me back later. I feel so disposable. I don't want to feel sorry for me, but it's hard to understand how dh and I are not anyone to him. It hurts. Spent the day with Noah and DSolder. It was fun! I have great kids! So back to reality now. DS-Matt,17 : DSolder- 24 : DD- 22 Depression, dx May 2008, ADHD- dx age 9 refuses meds and NOT LIVING AT HOME BY HIS CHOICE Waiting to see if he will attend the "Mountaineer ChalleNGe Academy" "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" Philippians 4:4 |
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jalmil |
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It sounds like you had a great weekend. You needed and deserve that. I am glad. The new table and chairs sounds great.
You are not feeling sorry for yourself. I would feel the same way about your situation. But he is not replacing you, knowone can. And no matter what I know you and dh are far from not being anyone to him. Lynn
Alex 16 - Dyslexic and STILL learning to drive Step Mom to :
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momofalexa |
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I'm so glad you got away for a while, Chris! My grandparents were in Walnut Creek at the "retirement home" aka assisted living facility down
there years ago. My grandma always wanted to go there when she got too old to stay in her house. She was from Pennsylvania Dutch country originally. I agree
the table and chairs sound cool! You are a lucky lady!
I know what you mean...hard not to take it personally when they act so mean to us. Oh well, onward and upward. Glad you have other family that is fun to be around and spirit lifting. Matt just drags things down, just like Alexa. I was thinking this morning about all my years wasted trying to help her, LOL...isn't that terrible? I look at old photos and wonder who she is now. I should not think stuff like that but sometimes I do anyway.
Heather
Mom of Alexa, (17 years old) Diagnosed BP-NOS (09/05), updated to BP II w/psychotic features (05/08) Oppositional Defiant Disorder Abilify (10 mg), Lamictal (200 mg), Klonipin (.5 mg) as needed, Vyvanse (30 mg) Topamax at night only (100 mg) Seroquel at night only (200mg) *when she is willing* Attends alternative therapeutic high school (Ohio) |
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justlovehim |
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He had asked dd to get him a skateboard for his bday. So today she called him from Walmart asking which one he likes. He was rude and told her not to get him
one of those cheap ones. He said "I told you what website to go to get the one I want." He hung up on her. She was so disturbed. He texted her later
and was rude and she texted him back and told him she isn't getting him anything. He has hurt his friend. She has stood by him even though she didn't
agree with what he was/is doing. She said tonight "I've had it!"
DS-Matt,17 : DSolder- 24 : DD- 22 Depression, dx May 2008, ADHD- dx age 9 refuses meds and NOT LIVING AT HOME BY HIS CHOICE Waiting to see if he will attend the "Mountaineer ChalleNGe Academy" "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" Philippians 4:4 |
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